870 Rajnikanth Jokes ;)

1. Rajnikanth can judge a book by it’s cover.
2. The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajnikanth kicked one of the corners off.
3. Rajnikanth once got into a knife-fight. The knife lost.
4. Rajnikanth kills Harry Potter in the eighth book.
5. Rajnikanth doesn’t move at the speed of light. Light moves at the
   speed of Rajnikanth.
6. Rajnikanth can handle the truth.
7. There is no such thing as evolution, it’s just a list of creatures that Rajini…kanth allowed to live.
8. Rajnikanth can drown a fish.
9. Rajinikant is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
10. The last time Rajnikanth killed someone, he slapped himself to do it. The other guy just disintegrated. Resonance.
11. Rajinikant can lick his elbows.
12. Rajnikanth collects Honey from his private Moon – HoneyMoon.
13. Rajnikanth’s every step creates a mini whirlwind. Hurricane Katrina was the result of a morning jog.
14. Rajinikant proves Newton wrong all the time. Every time he performs an action, he simply eliminates anything and everything that can provide the reaction.
15. Rajnikanth is a champion in the game “Hide n’ seek”, as no one can hide from Rajnikanth.
16. Rajnikanth can make onions cry.
17. Rajnikanth can divide by zero.
18. Rajnikanth grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
19. Rajinikant doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
20. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajnikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.
21. Rajnikanth can answer a missed call.
22. There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Rajnikanth lives in Chennai.
23. Rajnikanth can delete the Recycle Bin.
24. Rajnikanth once warned a young girl to be good “or else”. The result? Mother Teresa.
25. Chuck Norris once met Rajnikanth. The result – He was reduced to a joke on the internet.
26. Time and tide wait for Rajnikanth.
27. The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Rajnikanth’s fist.
28. If at first you don’t succeed, you’re not Rajnikanth.
29. You dont google rajnikanth…u rajnikanth google
30. Rajnikanth’s house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
31. Rajnikanth once got into a fight with a VCR player. Now it plays DVDs.
32. Rajnikanth killed the Dead Sea.
33. When Rajnikanth does push-ups, he isn’t lifting himself up. …He is pushing the earth down.
34. Rajnikanth has already been to Mars, that’s why there are no signs of life there.
35. Rajnikanth gave the Joker those scars.
36. Rajnikanth leaves messages before the beep.
37. Rajnikanth can slam a revolving door.
38. Rajnikanth can build a snowman out of rain.
39. Rajnikanth gave Mona Lisa that smile.
40. When you say “no one is perfect”, Rajinikant takes this as a personal insult.
41. The statement “nobody can cheat death”, is a personal insult to Rajnikanth. Rajni cheats and fools death everyday.
42. Rajnikanth doesn’t shower. He only takes blood baths.
43. To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Rajnikanth.
44. Archaeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined “victim” as “one who has encountered Rajinikant”.
45. Once a cobra bit Rajnikanth’ leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
46. Aliens do indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Rajnikanth is on.
47. Rajnikanth’s first job was as a bus conductor. There were no survivors.
48. Rajnikanth can watch the show 60 minutes in 20 minutes.
49. Rajnikanth knows Victoria’s secret.
50. Rajinikant electrocuted Iron Man.
51. Rajnikanth once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are today called giraffes.
52. Rajnikanth once ordered a plate of idli in McDonald’s, and got it.
53. Rajnikanth destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
54. Rajnikanth does not own a stove, oven, or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold.
55. Water boils faster when Rajnikanth stares at it.
56. Rajnikanth goes to court and sentences the judge.
57. Google won’t find Rajnikanth because you don’t find Rajnikanth; Rajnikanth finds you.
58. Rajnikanth doesn’t breathe. Air hides in his lungs for protection.
59. Rajnikanth killed Spiderman using Baygon Anti Bug Spray.
60. Rajnikanth calls Voldemort by his name.
61. Rajnikanth once had a heart attack. His heart lost.
62. Rajinikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
63. When Rajnikanth is asked to kill some one he doesn’t know, he shoots the bullet and directs it the day he finds out.
64. Rajinikant got his drivers license at the age of 16 seconds.
65. We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Rajnikanth.
66. The only man who ever outsmarted Rajnikanth was Stephen Hawking, and he got what he deserved.
67. Rajnikanth has counted to infinity, twice.
68. Rajnikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.
69. Rajnikanth did in fact, build Rome in a day.
70. Rajnikanth’s calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajanikanth.
71. Rajnikanth got small pox when he was a kid. As a result small pox is now eradicated.
72. Words like awesomeness, brilliance, legendary etc. were added to the dictionary in the year 1949. That was the year Rajnikanth was born.
73. Rajnikanth knows what women really want.
74. Rajnikanth can play the violin with a piano.
75. Rajnikanth doesn’t need a visa to travel abroad, he just jumps from the tallest building in Chennai and holds himself in the air while the
    earth rotates.
76. Rajinikant doesn’t bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint out of fear.
77. Rajinikant is a weapon created by God to use on doomsday to end the world.
78. Rajnikanth does not style his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.
79. Rajnikanth never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself in fear.
80. Rajnikanth kills two stones with one bird.
81. Rajnikanth can make PCs better than the Mac.
82. Rajnikanth can speak Braille.
83. Rajinikant can give pain to Painkillers and headache to Anacin.
84. Rajnikanth sneezed only once in his entire life, that’s when the tsunami occurred in the Indian ocean.
85. Where there is a will, there is a way. Where there is Rajnikanth, there is no other way.
86. There is no such thing as global warming. Rajnikanth was feeling cold, so brought the sun closer to heat the earth up.
87. According to Rajnikanth, 87 Jokes = 870 Jokes